I was reading the local news the other day (by accident -- it was hanging above a urinal in a public restroom.) I came across ground-breaking news: There may actually be 12 planets rather than nine!
Yeah, I know: everything I ever learned in 5th grade is suddenly subject to change. There is even talk that textbooks will have to be changed. For me, the fundamental questions remain:
-Why do we care how many planets there are?
-Why is it important that today there are three more planets and three less fiery balls of mass than there were yesterday?
Unless there is oil or weapons of mass destruction on these planets, who cares? Interesting point: while there appears to be no sign of intelligent life, satellite images revealed 327 Starbucks locations.
Now we have to reprint all the text books. By the way, while we're in there changing the textbooks, for the benefit of 'The South,' go ahead and re-word 'Civil War' to read 'War of Northern Aggression.' You can bet a bucket of fried chicken they've already changed it in their books.
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