A Bachelor's Week in Review

In case you have not heard. Suzanne took Cayden and left me...

...To go to Utah for vacation. I have to work, so I could not go home yet. As a result I have been living the life of the bachelor for a week now.

Being a bachelor is fun...the first day. I dropped Suz and Cayden off Saturday and went right to work vacuuming. I borrowed a friend's vacuum with enough suction I was legitimately concerned it would pull the carpet up. I vacuumed the apartment and detailed the car, bringing both back up to "Rand's OCD spec." Then I hopped on my bike and rode 30 miles, never once worrying if I would get back late.

Sunday I had church and a Priesthood meeting to occupy most of my time. My hope to ride my bike as much as possible was crushed on Monday when it was forecasted to rain. Figures. So, I got up early and ran. I only run when there is not time to ride or it looks like weather will be a problem. It did not rain by the way. I stayed at work until just after 8:00 pm working on some projects to get caught up. I got home and after about 30 minutes figured out how to turn the oven on so I could cook a meal my loving wife and lovingly made for me before she left. By about 9:30 pm that loving meal was ready and even gave me some leftovers for Tuesday.

By Wednesday, the bachelor lifestyle was wearing on me. I got home a little later than usual and met up with a friend to go for a bike ride. Half way into our 20-mile ride I learned that this ride would be approximately two times longer than any ride he had done before. I got home even later. Thursday I did the same ride by myself (quicker) and got home in time to try and remember how to do laundry. I could not use the laundry room on our floor because someone neglectfully left their clothing in both washers LONG after they was finished washing. I finished the wash (on another floor) just in time to go to bed. I realized that I had not opened the curtains since I closed them Sunday night. Kind of depressing.

Friday finally came and after a long day of waiting for the weekend I came home to enjoy a night of peace and quiet. After talking with my mission president on Facebook (who would have thought, right?) I cooked a Totino's pizza and watched a Denzel movie. Totino's pizza and Denzel had me feeling good again about the bachelor lifestyle, but I finished the movie and it was not time to go to bed so I actually started reading a book! I need help.

Saturday morning I hopped back on the bike and did not come back until I had racked up 40 miles. Clouds started to roll in and I made the decision then and there that if it started to rain, I was going to get wet, but I was not going home. Fortunately, the rain held off until I returned home.

It is now 5:46 pm and I have ridden all I want, napped all I want. I changed the oil in the car, went to the store to buy Oreos, filled up on gas, threw away all the old food in the fridge, and tried to clean the grime off the wheels of the car.

I have been to the grocery store exactly twice now. During the two trips combined, here is exactly what I bought:

• Peanut Butter
• Butter
• Syrup
• Marshmallow Maties
• Deodorant
• Oreos (yes -- the first time I was too cheap to pay $3.00, but the second time I was desperate.)
• Milk
• Little Caesar's pizza on the way home
• Almost bought toilet paper, but did not. I could not find it and did not want to look any harder than I was already looking. I think I will have enough to get me through. If not, I will spool some onto a stick from the bathroom at work.

The floors are still vacuumed and the car is still detailed but I am ready for Suz and the C-monster to come back. During this time of solitude I have learned a lot about life and myself:

• Number one. Do not wash the car and clean the windows at night. You will be disappointed with your work in the morning.
• Number two. You can turn the temperature to whatever degree setting you want, but the oven is not on unless the dial is turned to "bake".
• Number three. Marshmallow Maties are tricky to purchase. Do not select a bag by the one that has a lot of marshmallows in the clear cellophane window of the bag. You will only be disappointed when you find nothing but oats in the middle.
• Number four. Be grateful for your family. Tender.

When You're Here, You're Family

Time for a relaxing trip to Olive Garden. Why? Well, it has been a long time -- and we have a gift card. Which makes it about the same price as our usual fare (Wendy's, KFC, McDonald's, etc.)

We could not find a babysitter. Either because all of the young women in our ward have seen the C-monster in action, or they are legitimately busy. Could be either. So the three of us went to Olive Garden last night. We thought we would let Cayden try sitting in a normal chair. He did alright. Until he discovered the chair had wheels on it. Then he started scooting around the dining room. I tried to distract him by drawing a car, a truck, a bike, and a snowmobile in that order on his kid's menu with the free crayons.

Fortunately, his $5.25 pizza arrived just in time for him to decide he was no longer hungry. I remember visiting my brother's family years ago and watching his kids NOT eat pricey meals at restaurants and thinking "I will never make that mistake."

Instead of eating his pizza, he was content to eat one bite of each of the bread sticks. He then found that he could stick them on his fingers and it made it look like he had big swollen fingers. Frustrating, yet funny -- I know. The sliding chair made me nervous and I finally found a high chair we could strap him in. Which...he did not like.

Do not misunderstand. It was still fun to go out and eat with our little family, but your realize you are no longer young when you sit at Olive Garden and wish you were at McDonald's.

On the way out I took him in the bathroom to wash the bread stick garlic off his hands. I had to use the bathroom and thought we would see how long he could stand still in one place. (Number One only, I'm not crazy.) So I had him stand inside the stall with me against the door and told him to stay still. As soon as he heard me "tinkling" he started poking his head around to see what was going on. Then the Italian music (that for some reason is always broadcast at concert level in Olive Garden's bathrooms) started to get to Cayden and he started jumping around.

This time was not as bad as in the Chili's bathroom the other day. I told him to be still and he did a good job until some bouncy music came on and I saw just one leg start to bounce. It spread precipitously to the rest of his body and in less than 10 seconds he went from standing motionless on point, to running around the bathroom with his arms out jumping, all the while proclaiming "I'm an airplane, I'm an airplane."

All in all, life has changed with the C-monster, but I would not change it for the world! Oh, tender...