The Holy War

Utah Fans: This is the image I want you to burn into your brains for the next 52 weeks.

I must confess, I became disillusioned yesterday somewhere during the second or third quarter. Strangely, none of the television stations in Memphis, Tennessee carry BYU games so I was left with a Utah-slanted play-by-play through the 2007 Mercury Milan's optional Sirius Satellite radio. They obviously picked up a feed from Utah's sports radio. Trying to listen to the game on the radio and watching BYU's eight-game winning streak get soggy, I eventually turned the radio off and decided to hear about it in the morning. I am my father's son.

Well, morning could not wait. When I got home my computer was open to the scoreboard where I had left it hours before and there it was in big sans serif letters:

Brigham Young - 33
University of Utah - 31

More importantly, I was quick to notice the small "F" next to the score indicating it was final. I spent the next hour scouring the multiple college football games that ARE broadcast east of the Mississippi hoping for a highlight reel.

What a play John Beck.

So to all you Utah fans out there, know this: winning is hard, losing is even harder.

There is always next year.

Cayden: Week 6

Where is the off button? Last week Suz, Cayden and I went for a family tour of Arlington at 3:30 am. It worked. Cayden went to sleep. It just worked about four hours later than we would have preferred.

This week we tried something new. We put him in his car seat and stuck him on top of the dryer while it was running.

Who knew? Literally after one minute of the tumble cycle Cayden's eyes were drooping and blinks became longer and longer. It worked and burned less gas than a midnight tour of Arlington. We've used it twice already. But, like a narcotic, it is addicting and we don't want little Cayden to feel like he needs to be strapped to a huge machine to fall asleep.

We'll keep you posted...

New Car: 2007 Mercury Milan

The Eddie Bauer Explorer was a nice car. It had all the goodies -- suede leather seats, DVD navigation, room for seven. It was also fun to drive, but after Cayden pee'd on the dashboard, the Explorer lost its luster. Done. Gone. On to the next one.

Enter the 2007 Mercury Milan. Aside from all the goodies I have unfortunately come to take for granted, this sucker will scream on the highway and off.

Here are the stats:

• 3.0L V6 good for 221 hp
• All-wheel-drive (a segment exclusive)
• Satellite Radio
• DVD Navigation
• mp3 Input Jack for iPod
• Two-tone leather seats

All in all, it has plenty of gusto and holds the road like a fat man holds a greasy fork.

Cayden: 1 Month Old

Believe it or not, little Cayden Blair is now one month old and 31 days closer to getting his driver's license.

The parents have long since returned home to Utah, leaving Suzanne and I at the controls (that should read "leaving Suzanne at the controls.")

We are proud to announce that he officially has a belly button now. No more unsightly dead, dry flesh plugs. Just a pink little button on the center of a melon-shaped belly.

He manages to sleep on and off during the day and night. Somehow he manages to stay awake between 10:00 pm and 1:00 am most nights. It is hard to stay mad at him though.

When a Diaper Change Goes Terribly Wrong

There are lessons that each new mother learns, such as a baby has no concept of night or day, if you are breastfeeding your baby eats what you eat, and then the special lesson that only a new mother of a little boy can appreciate: when changing a diaper it is best to keep things covered as much as possible.

Yesterday Cayden got to take his first trip to Downtown Memphis while giving Grandpa and Grandma Blair a tour. Of course Cayden didn't see much as he was asleep most of the way, except for on the way home. He made his presence known, and I had the joy of changing my first diaper in the car. Things were going great until I opened the diaper and saw that it was not just wet, but the joy didn't stop there. As I was cleaning him off, all of the sudden a stream of urine shot onto Cayden's face, past his head onto the meticulously clean dashboard of Rand's Explorer, and down my leg! Yeah, that was a fun lesson to learn.

In other fun lessons, it turns out that babies go through A LOT of diapers. I think I should have gotten a job with pampers for a while! Oh well, at least they look cute while you are changing them!

Cayden: Day 17

What a cute kid!

Cayden: Day 11

With Suzanne's parents leaving early this morning, Suz and I found ourselves alone with Cayden for the first time outside of a hospital. It is a little intimidating, but if Britney Spears can handle it, we're up for it.

Cayden and I got some one-on-one time this morning. Suzanne took a bath and that left me in charge. Cayden did pretty well for a while. Then he woke up.

He decided to throw some crying at me to see how daddy would handle it. After trying several different methods to coax Cayden back to sleep, I decided to bite the bullet and change his wet diaper. I've changed quite a few diapers in the last 11 days so this wasn't a big deal.

I got his diaper off and was working on getting the next one on when there was a loud knock on the door.

"Who is knocking on our door at 11:00 am on a Saturday morning."

I couldn't really get to the door as I was still in my underwear and Cayden, even less. I got Cayden dressed just in time for another knock on the door. I decided to throw some clothes on and get the door, Cayden in tow.

It was the Jehovah's Witnesses.

Cayden: Day 8

It happened today. I knew the day was coming. It's here.

Today I officially became that guy in the office with a picture of his new baby plastered all over his desktop.

What happened to me? I used to be 'cool guy.' You know, pictures of Ford Mustangs or other cool cars. Gone are the days of fast cars or snowmobiling pics. Now I'm 'that guy.'

Oh well. It's all about what you come home to at night...

P.S. Want Cayden on your desktop?

Cayden Bath 1024x768

PC Users: Click on the link. When the picture loads, right-click and select "Set as Background"
Mac Users: Take a hike.

Cayden: Day 5

I'm tired.
Suzanne's mom is more tired.
Suzanne is even more tired.

Cayden...couldn't care less.

If he wasn't so incredibly cute he would be frustrating. He is the kind of cute that sticks his super long arms out straight on both sides when you pick him up and he acts like he can't control it, even though he does it on cue.

For the first few days he seemed to love sleeping more than he loved eating, much to the worry of his mother. That somehow changed last night and he hasn't caught a wink since. So in review:

-He is eating
-He is pooping
-He is peeing (after a trip to the doctor we learned that those diapers are super absorbent)
-He used to be sleeping...

And Then There Were Three...

Cayden Carl Blair
Born October 4th, 2006 - 1:05 PM
7 pounds 11 ounces
21.75 inches

Waiting...

Suz and I are at the hospital in Labor & Delivery. We arrived last night at 5:00 PM with plans to induce this morning.

Suz is getting medicine to get things going but so far our little boy is chillin' like a villain. I think he just knows that as soon as he comes out that little operation for little boys is coming.

We'll keep you posted. Don't worry Mom, everything is FINE.

When's that BABY due...

Scary, scary. Believe it or not, this baby boy that has been hanging around below Suzanne's ribs is eventually going to come out. When he does, life will officially begin.

We're going to have to behave like adults. I'm not sure we're ready for this. Adults do not eat straight out of a two-gallon bucket of cookie dough. Suz and I do. The cookie dough bucket makes 80 cookies, of which we cooked nine. We found that the sides of the bucket thaw out before the center does. Therefore, we are left with a small, frozen island of chocolate chip cookie dough at the bottom of the bucket...and a tummy ache.

Can babies eat cookie dough straight from the bucket?

New Car: 2006 Eddie Bauer Explorer

My days of ignorantly driving around in a luxury sedan far above my means are officially over. My 2006 Lincoln Zephyr has officially retired from active duty and has made its way to the dealer auction.

And now my days of ignorantly driving around in a luxury SUV far above my means have officially begun. While I had the difficult task of parting with my beloved Zephyr, stepping up into the Eddie Bauer Explorer and breathing in the aroma from the suede-leather inserts that were keeping cows warm days earlier somehow made the transition bearable.

So here is the run down:

• 4.0L V6 SOHC - The beefy, new V8 that came out of the Mustang GT was not on option for sales vehicles. Poor me!
• 4-wheel drive
• Preferred suede-leather seats
• Power third-row seat
• DVD-based Navigation System
• 18" Alloy Rims
• All the other goodies...

I'm liking the Explorer. I loved the Limited '05 I had last year. But the '06 has been greatly re-vamped both externally and internally. For an SUV it rides smooth and has decent power for a V6. I haven't had to use 4-wheel drive yet, but it will be convenient should we have any ice storms before my next vehicle arrives -- which may happen later this year.

This Just In...Solar System Super-Sized.

I was reading the local news the other day (by accident -- it was hanging above a urinal in a public restroom.) I came across ground-breaking news: There may actually be 12 planets rather than nine!

Yeah, I know: everything I ever learned in 5th grade is suddenly subject to change. There is even talk that textbooks will have to be changed. For me, the fundamental questions remain:

-Why do we care how many planets there are?
-Why is it important that today there are three more planets and three less fiery balls of mass than there were yesterday?

Unless there is oil or weapons of mass destruction on these planets, who cares? Interesting point: while there appears to be no sign of intelligent life, satellite images revealed 327 Starbucks locations.

Now we have to reprint all the text books. By the way, while we're in there changing the textbooks, for the benefit of 'The South,' go ahead and re-word 'Civil War' to read 'War of Northern Aggression.' You can bet a bucket of fried chicken they've already changed it in their books.

New Car: Lincoln Zephyr

Once again, the car gods have smiled upon me. In a stroke of pure luck, I have become the driver of a shiny new Lincoln Zephyr.

Here is how it came to pass:
Two Lincoln Zehpyrs were issued to a couple of higher-ups in the office. When they traded up to a Lincoln LS, these two cream-puffs hit the market. Everyone who had been issued a Fusion earlier this year put their name in to draw out one of the two Zephyrs. Lady luck was on my side that day as my name was the first drawn out.

This car is a dream. If the Fusion was fun, new and sporty. Well, the Zephyr is all that and a bag of chips (snap.)
Here are the stats:

Engine: 3.0L Duratec V6
Horses: 221
Sound System: THX Certified
Speakers: 12 (I still haven't found one of them.)
Other Goodies: Heated AND Cooled seats, Navigation System, Satin Nickel Trim

Fusion Arrives...

Hello one and all. Yes I am still alive and I have great news: My shiny new Ford Fusion has arrived. It was difficult to see the Explorer go. We have been through a lot together. But let's face it, it had a gum stain on the floor, and well, once a car has a stain in the carpet it's old hat.

Done - Gone - On to the next one.

The next one happens to be the brand-spanking new Ford Fusion. After driving it for almost a week, my official rating for this new vehicle is: wicked sweet. Don't laugh Lindsay. It really is wicked sweet. Like the perfect woman, this car is good-looking yet approachable.

I ordered a jet black Fusion SEL (SEL stands for: load it up!). And with the exception of the V6 engine and the power sunroof, this beauty has everything, from a six-disc in-dash CD changer with MP3 capability and eight booming speakers to heated leather seats with cool oatmeal-colored stitching.

I was a little upset at first that my driving excitement would be held captive by an I4 (four-cylinder engine for everyone but dad.) However, after acquainting myself with the tight five-speed manual transmission it became apparent that this four-banger has plenty of pep. I've had it for five days and put over 600 miles on it, mostly on the highways of northern Mississippi.

The car also handles very well. I've taken a few hard corners and the 17" rims hold the road a heck of a lot better than an Explorer.

Overall, I was very impressed. More importantly, I am very happy with the new direction Ford is heading in design.