Thursday, April 17, 2008

"OCD yeah you know me"

My lovely wife has recently posted the familiar "7 things about me" post that currently pervades the blogging world like a communicable illness. Although she did not directly ask me to reply in kind, my recent lack of posting and wanting to satisfy her good nature have resulted in my list of "7 things you may not know about me."

Please be warned, what I am about to share I have never shared with anyone except Suz...and maybe my closest friends...and my family...and informal acquaintances...and people I sit next to on planes.

1. I have a slight case of self-diagnosed OCD. Do not worry about me Mom. I am not talking about the life-inhibiting OCD you see on episodes of MTV's True Life. My case involves little quirks. I check doors twice to make sure they are locked. I unplug everything I can when I leave the house for a prolonged amount of time because I fear the house will catch fire if I do not. Just little stuff. I am not concerned about these habits, because they are little quirks I am aware of. Suz, likes to remind me of them in case I forget. As long as I recognize them, they are not going to control my life.

2. I am a Left-Handed Person. Although this explains my markedly high intelligence and profound knack for creative reasoning, it also prevents me from sharing in the benefits of a community baseball mitt, or borrowing a friend's golf clubs. Just as Chris McManus penned (with his left hand undoubtedly) "left-handers' brains are structured differently in a way that widens their range of abilities." I share the blessing and curse of former politicians Ronald Reagan and Benjamin Franklin, late-night entertainers David Letterman and Jay Leno, and other outside-the-box thinkers like Napoleon Bonaparte, Bart Simpson and Fidel Castro. So to my readers out there who share the plight of left-handedness, I say: "Unite! For we too, will have our day." (August 13th)

3. I love Peeps. By peeps, I mean sugar-covered marshmallows, not people from my 'hood. Peeps are best enjoyed when hardened. Cut the cellophane open and let them cure for a day or two. Hang on...

...Sorry, I thought I left the stove on.

4. I ran for student body in 9th grade. All my friends were involved in soccer, basketball and other extra-curricular activities. I felt being a member of the National Honor Society was not enough, so I ran for office as a last-minute write in. Believe or not I ran on the "Chris Farley, Motivational Speaker" platform. The administration did not appreciate my reference to rolling doobies in a van down by the river during my election skit. I gracefully bowed out of the race shortly after...because I did not make the primaries.

5. As a child I had a Teddy Ruxpin. One day my cousin broke Teddie's lower jaw, rendering him deaf and mute. On that day I learned that life is not fair.

6. I married the first woman that would kiss me. She was also the first woman that would hold my hand and the first woman that would go on more than one date with me. It only takes one, if it is the right one. Tender.

7. Yes, I did get my tongue stuck on the shelf in the freezer. Why? My brain told me to. (Stop laughing Julie.) I have no other explanation. I was young and impressionable and that left-handed brain started thinking out of the box, right out of the box.

Well that is all you get for now. I feel emotionally vulnerable. I need to go. I do not think I locked the door when I got home.

10 comments:

Jules said...

Little Brother. I laughed out loud about Teddy Ruxpin. Remember dad "doing surgery?" I think Montgomery Moose ALSO had surgery (tonsils?)...your stuffed animals had it rough. I also stuck my tongue to the freezer..in Clearfield. Dad was having a scout meeting right there in the kitchen. Bad times. That stupid "Christmas Story" movie...nice job on the 7. If the OCD gets to you, I know a few qualified therapists.

Anonymous said...

Glad to hear you are left handed. Which other minority group has their own dedicated day? Aug 13 is my sister's birthday but she is right handed.

Carole from www.thelefthandedsite.com

Carole Seawert said...

Sorry, checked the wrong box, so my identity was hidden. This should work now...

Mom B said...

Well, it looks like you got #1 from me; (ask dad about the toaster and the space heater). Give me the initials of the cousin who trashed Teddy. The tongue on the freezer was sad...but so dang funny. And I'm sure glad Suzanne decided to date you, hold your hand, kiss you and marry you!

Michelle said...

Good Job Rand!! Thanks for sharing. I am loving reading everyones 7's.

I remember your beloved Teddy, I wasn't allowed to touch him so it wasn't me, but I remember thinking it worked via magic. :)

Regina said...

Amen to the Peeps! I'm glad I'm not the only one. My mom and I would go to the old Canned Food store by Kings in Clearfield to find Peeps. We alway knew that if the peeps were there they had been on the shelf for quite a while.
I'm sure that was the only purchase we would make.

red said...

Wow Rand. It's like I just re lived your entire childhood! I sure hope it wasn't me that broke your Teddy Ruxpin. I bet you would have won the election in the 9th grade if you did the moon walk for them :)
I think the peeps must come from your Blair blood. Seriously it's like a sin to eat them fresh. Oh you left out the part where you got ran over by a bike when you were three :)

That was a pretty awesome list though.

grandma blair said...

Loved the seven things Rand, Was it one of my kids who broke the Teddy Ruxpin? We did have a tendancy to be rough.
Nice to see someone else has OCD's too.

PureDesign said...

I enjoy the same type of "peeps" as well.

That was until I informed my mom of this, an so she went to the store and bought every single package after Easter, and so now I still enjoy them, but I can only eat ONE box a year...

Max said...

Grandma B, it was probably Daniel who broke Teddy Ruxpin. He could break a crowbar in a sandbox when he was two.

Ask Anna and Daniel about her episode and the telephone pole.

#8. Rand taught Michael Jackson how to Moonwalk. Ask him to show you.