Saturday, June 04, 2005

What Not to Wear

The Council of Constantinople (381 A.D.)
The Second Continental Congress (1774.)
The Constitutional Convention (1787.)

What's the point? The very rules that govern our society and sometimes our thinking, are the results of historical gatherings where monumental decisions were made.

That leaves me with one question: Where and when was the meeting that determined what color of shoes go with khaki pants?

Who created all these rules of 'what goes with what?' It sounds dumb, but there are very definite rules, and somebody had to have made them.

While I was never anywhere close to being an expert on men's fashion, I thought I had a small grasp on these rules as they pertain to pants and shoes. Brown shoes with khaki's and green's. Black shoes with dark pants. That was all I ever needed to know. Until Saturday...

You throw a sport coat in the mix, and everything changes. Suddenly black shoes are good to go with khaki's provided you're wearing a black sport coat and a black belt. But, should you take off the black sport coat due to Mississippi's sweltering heat, suddenly you're stranded with black shoes and kacki's and nothing to tie the two together.

And just when I thought I had this all figured out, you add in the fourth dimension of shirt color. Suddenly, nothing is as it seems and my head hurts. Fortunately, my sweet wife who will stop at nothing to appease me - especially if she can poke fun in the process - helped me create a chart of socially acceptable color combinations. I laughed at the idea and acted as though I didn't need a silly list to get dressed in the morning.

I actually carried the list with me all week and consulted it regularly.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

That was a good one, true, but I'm writing to request the "Cell Phone Upgrade" story. Never have I seen dad laugh so hard. You need to post it...or is that bad for you...professionally?

Rand said...

I'll ponder your request - and grant it if possible.